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\f0\fs24\cf0 (Music.)\
JACK BEALL: Good morning.\
Welcome to the final general\
session and closing ceremony\
for the 2011 Integrated\
Medical Public Health\
Preparedness and Response\
Training Summit. Those who\
don't know me, my name is\
Jack Beall, Director of\
National Disaster Medical\
System and I would like to\
ask that all cell phones,\
pagers and any other\
audible mobile communication\
device be turned off or\
placed in quiet mode.\
Second, in the event of an\
emergency or activated fire\
alarm in this facility\
please walk do not run to\
the nearest exit that's safe\
and free of any signs of any\
smoke or flames. An\
announcement will be made\
via the hotel's public\
address system regarding the\
situation and what action to\
take if necessary. Also I\
want to remind everybody to\
please remain seated at the\
conclusion of the general\
session as immediately\
following is a closing\
remarks. Our first speaker\
this morning is Mr. Steve\
Berry. Steve has a Bachelors\
of Art Degree of Education\
from the University of\
Northern Colorado, an NREMTP,\
a former teacher and\
interpreter for the hearing\
impaired. Steve has\
published 10 emergency\
medical services related\
cartoon books and his\
escapades as a paramedic,\
EMS instructor began 25\
years ago. Steve writes a\
monthly humor column for the\
Journal of Emergency\
Medicine and illustrates\
cartoons for Jems. He is\
also the public image\
officer for the National EMS \
Memorial Bikeride, a\
Paramedic from Southwest\
Teller County, EMS in\
Colorado. Steve seeks world\
peace along with frequent\
flier mileage (People\
laughing) Truly a gifted and\
talented individual please\
welcome, Mr Steve Berry.\
(Clapping)\
STEVE BERRY: Very nice\
Good morning everyone.\
People: Good morning.\
STEVE BERRY: You know that's so\
hard for me, there's a\
little light there but I'm\
sure my reflection of my\
head isn't helping you\
either. Is that correct?\
But, welcome. I'll bring\
first slide up here, now, I\
want to make sure that you\
can see. Can everyone\
see this? Especially at the\
back. You know I respect a\
lot of you. When you come\
through the door a lot of you sit\
-- the first seats that \
filled up are the very far\
back to the right next to\
the exits. Not because\
you're fire conscious alert\
it's just because is this\
guy's sucks I'm out of here\
in 15 minutes. Is that how\
it works? (People laughing)\
STEVE BERRY: Okay. So good\
morning. It is an honor to\
be here among such fine\
people. The only problem is\
being a closing keynote is I\
don't get to see this\
expression on your faces\
right now. This is the\
expression that the first\
keynote speaker gets to see.\
This is the expression I am\
seeing right now. (People\
laughing.) STEVE BERRY:\
Because I've seen you guys\
party quite hardily. (People\
laughing) and I know a lot\
of have your coffee right\
now. How many of you have\
your cup please hold them\
high. Yes, cheers to you.\
'Cause I appreciate, you\
know I have a Starbucks at\
the back of my ambulance\
myself. The only problem I\
have with that is you know\
when you work on duty is\
that you have to have\
toilets at the front seat of\
the ambulance just as much\
as possible. So I do understand\
if you drink quite a bit of\
coffee and you have to get\
up and go to the bathroom, I\
have no problem with that.\
I'm not insulted by that. I\
will point you out however.\
(People laughing) But it's\
interesting. You know guys I\
don't give you much time\
right? In and out. So it\
should happen pretty\
quickly. Unless you're kinda\
faced with one of these\
situations. (People\
laughing) Because you know\
what? You're going to wait\
for that person to finish\
before you'll use that other\
one aren't you? You know\
actually I took this picture\
in an airport I was at and I\
thought it was kind of\
interesting that you know\
I'm, going to throw the\
cards out there. I'm going\
to go right where this guy's\
going. So I said "Excuse\
me." And I curled right up\
next to him. And I got my\
cell phone out and then I\
said kinda loudly "Yeah doc,\
it's still burning." (People\
laughing) I never seen a guy\
cut himself off midstream so\
fast in my life. (People\
laughing) When I'm at\
Colorado anybody else on\
that way Midwest right\
there? Yeah, yeah, welcome,\
welcome and I'm actually\
too. I live in the area\
called South Park. Anybody\
watch that show? People:\
Yeah. STEVE BERRY: Yeah,\
you're a bunch of sick\
bustard. That's good.\
(People laughing) STEVE\
BERRY: Yeah, I like that.\
You know I'm working at EMS\
community. I used to work in\
the city for quite a while\
and then I kinda work my way\
back into the rural areas of\
EMS. And up in a little town\
called Cripple Creek\
Colorado and at up at\
Cripple Creek it was a\
mining community long ago\
and tourist come up there\
and took pictures especially\
in the fall season. Then\
something happened about 5\
years ago. They decided to\
pass limited states gambling\
to our community. And you\
can imagine what happened in\
that moment. Because I want\
you to imagine what kind of\
people we see. You all got\
that in your mind don't you?\
And where do they come from?\
Well this is where they come\
from. There come from by the\
bus load and it starts at\
8am and they come bus after\
bus and after bus and who\
are these people? These are\
your parents. (People\
laughing) These are your\
parents gambling your\
inheritance away. You know\
and I don't want to\
stereotype because you know\
this is not just about you\
know use the slot machines\
and some come up there to\
really party. So it's good.\
(People laughing) This too\
you know you're going to go\
to that slot machine and\
then they'll going to place\
themselves in front of that\
slot machine, now are they\
going to leave that slot\
machine? No, they are there\
for the duration. And I will\
go up to a patient while\
literally is having a heart\
attack, sweating,\
diaphoretic, short of\
breath, are they going to\
leave that slot machine? And\
then you're looking for help\
from a spouse to get him to\
going, she is right next\
door going "Well don't give\
him the machine dear, that's\
my machine." So we decided\
we come up with a new you\
know we usually do in an\
emergency medical services\
right? We came up with a new\
evaluation form of\
evaluation where we can\
actually look at the\
patient, evaluate them and\
let them keep playing their\
machine. So basically at the\
bottom of the slot machine\
we can attach our oxygen our\
pulse oximetry, we can put\
their Foley catheter if\
necessary. We can check\
their glucose stick if we\
have to put that in there\
and then I can put the 12\
leads on pull the handle and\
then I get immediate 12 lead\
read out  up on the slot.\
(People clapping) STEVE\
BERRY: And then if I have to\
defibrillate them, well I\
can hit them at 300, 200,\
360 and then the bells go\
off and life is all good.\
(People laughing) Of course\
they then at the end of the\
day get on their bus and\
then they go back down the\
pass and then a new client\
comes up. So we decided we\
needed to change our star\
of life to this. (People\
laughing.) Because now we\
have the party animals,\
don't we? The usual thing\
about a high altitude, \
 that is an altitude of about\
90-9500 feet. And so people have\
trouble breathing with it.\
But we also get people who\
drive up there and it's\
interesting because I don't\
know why there are some\
people who lose a lot of\
money up there and they\
decided that life isn't\
worth living after that. And\
so in some of those mountain\
ridges sometimes they'll\
ocassionaly launch \
themselves, purposely. And we\
have this curve called Dead\
Man's Curve. And when we get\
dispatched to that scene, we\
pretty much know it's going\
to be a body recovery. And\
as we go down this\
mountainous slope with our\
search and rescue, there is\
the vehicle. But low and behold\
there is the patient sitting\
on a rock next to his car\
smoking a cigarette looking\
very despondent and my partner\
goes up to hold his neck\
because you know we got to\
rule out that there's a\
C-spine injury and the\
gentleman's head is trying\
to lower it and he says "I\
can't even kill myself\
right?" My partner says\
"Well why are you wearing\
the seatbelt?" He goes "Of\
course I'm wearing the\
seatbelt, I'm not stupid."\
Oh crap. (People laughing.)\
And you know, that's the\
beauty of what you and I, we\
all see, we see people do\
things that no one else will\
believe will they? No one\
can see the things we see.\
And as spring approaches now\
the wildlife starts to come\
down from the mountains and\
I want you to -- you're all\
good at establishing what\
the causes of mechanism are\
here and you see this deer.\
How many of you think that's\
a suicide? (People laughing)\
Personally I think it's an\
al-Qaida deer myself. I just\
got -- (People laughing) and\
you know deers are bad\
enough tbut moose are\
horrible. And this was very\
tragic call actually because\
a family member showed up\
and it was very hard\
breaking the news to this\
particular person here it\
was very serious (People\
laughing) Well hell! Moose are\
stupid. Moose are very stupid.\
(People laughing.) This\
moose was arrested for\
statutory rape. (People\
laughing) He was actually\
charged with a moose\
demeanour. Okay, that's the\
last moose joke. Let's move\
on. Welcome to this closing\
keynote. Now we're going to\
talk about picking up our\
pieces. That's actually a\
memorial I drew for our EMS\
and fire folks. I call it\
"Help! I've fallen. I can't\
get up EMS memorial". But to\
be among such fine people,\
we'll the few days I've been\
here. I've always notice\
that you know I look at name\
tags and I look at some of\
these acronyms at the end of\
your names and they go\
forever. You know I'm Steve\
Berry, BANREMTP. Does anyone\
knows what's NR stands for?\
National Registry?\
no, that means not\
really. But I felt so you\
know kinda like I needed\
more acronyms so I added a\
few on to mine, MDOASAADD.\
Actually, no one ever ask me\
what that means. They just\
look at that and just go\
"Oh, ah." Well I'm going to\
show you what that means.\
Mack Daddy Of All Smart Ass\
Ambulance Driver Dudes.\
(People laughing.) And one\
thing I get to do every year\
you may not think you now\
Christmas is far away but I\
still have to draw\
illustrations for the\
magazine and I'm already\
drawing the Christmas card\
for the next year. When I\
first wanted to they ask me\
to draw an illustration for\
the Christmas card, they\
wanted something you know\
kind of cheery so I send\
them this. 911 said I have\
to get sugar in him\
immediately. (People\
laughing) And they said "No,\
no, no, no, no. Something\
more warm and fuzzy." " How\
about this?" (People\
laughing) You know Rudolf\
had the red light anyway.\
Then I drew this and they\
went "Aw" Can I have an Aw\
from you please? People: Aw.\
Yeah. So then they said "You\
know what you don't -- it's\
not just EMS, there's fire\
in there so why don't you\
have a fire fighter?"\
Another ahh please. And they\
like to ask so much they\
said the following year,\
"Okay, let's add a police\
officer." So now we have a\
police officer, we have a\
fire fighter we have EMS.\
And then the following after\
that they said "Well let's\
not stop there. Let's have a\
Wildland rescue dog, a\
medic, fire fighter, let's\
have a Wildland fire\
fighter, let's have a police\
officer, let's have a\
dispatcher." So I drew this.\
But then I though why be a\
hypocrite, let's send them\
this one. (People laughing)\
'Cause isn't that the way\
it really is? But I'll tell\
you what my business cards\
were. For a long time my\
business , business cards I\
handed out to people I felt\
I have to know in emergency\
medical services were these\
people, fire fighters,\
police and the military.\
Because that's all I dealt\
with. That was my world and\
that's all I was comfortable\
with really. And that's all\
I needed to know for many\
many years and what I did.\
You know people will say\
things like MRC, NDMS,\
ESAR-VHP, USPAS is almost\
like I was saying well\
here's mine. (People\
laughing) I didn't know what\
they meant. I've heard of\
them. I read about them but\
my day to day life they had\
no impact and this was\
pretty much the puzzle\
around it. The view I had\
but you all are out here.\
And that's okay at that time\
'cause my little world\
involved my little cab and\
all I have to worry about\
was my patients. And there\
was one time I was at EMS\
conference town in New\
Orleans 2005. When I got\
there I was going to do the\
closing keynote for and we\
have over what 3,000 Ems\
Fire fighters, police and\
every one kept talking about\
the hurricane, the\
hurricane. I'm like yeah I\
have a few of those, they\
are pretty good. (People\
laughing) I ignored it. And\
I didn't pay attention and\
in my closing keynote\
suddenly all these pagers go\
off and everyone's going get\
up and walking out on me and\
I'm going "What the hell?"\
And it was a hurricane. So\
it was interesting though.\
Being an EMS provider I knew\
what I had to do. We went\
through all out in the New\
Orleans the day before\
because we couldn't get out.\
Flights are cancelled and I\
don't want to be stuck in\
that dome. So a bunch of us\
went to the stores and we\
bought all the food we\
could. We bought tons of\
food, water, we fill our\
bath tubs with ice, and we\
were ready to last a week.\
We took all the hotel little\
liquor bottles in case we\
have to put those on wounds.\
(People laughing) We're\
ready. I'm from Colorado\
people. I don't even know\
what then ocean looks like\
much less a hurricane. And\
that night just before this\
man's face went off to TV\
because we lost electrical\
power, I was truly scared.\
And never felt more helpless\
in my life. And as that\
storm hit its peak I'm on\
the 16th floor. Later in the\
bathroom everything is all\
set and ready to go and I\
said "You know what I wonder\
what it looks like\
outside." (People laughing)\
So I get up and I started\
walking towards the window\
and I can literally start\
feeling nauseous because that\
building is swaying. I was\
sick to my stomach and I\
had to get back on the\
floor and you can hear the\
creaking bolts in the\
bathroom. Like a ship\
rocking. Then it went the\
highest point of the\
hurricane that building\
start to lean over and how\
did I know that? Because I\
look at my bathroom door and\
it went swinging and then it\
will swing to a point and\
stop. And then the building\
was shutter a little bit,\
like it was thinking about\
it. And then would come back\
and watched that for several\
hours. Next morning, you\
know I should have known\
better, because the day\
before these animals were --\
they knew something was\
going on. They were starting\
to hoard food themselves.\
Cockroaches were committing\
suicide. Sometimes 3 at a\
time (people laughing) and\
the birds that were leaving New\
Orleans as that storm\
approached they even try to\
give us a warning by saying\
"Forming there own wings\
saying, looks what's coming."\
And it came. And I was truly humbled by\
nature and its power. The\
next morning looking out the \
window taking a picture from\
16th floor watching that\
fire but really not seeing\
anything more. I realized as\
an EMS provider, I was part of\
the problem, not part of the\
solution. What unfolded the\
next several days was I\
realized right off the bath\
that we are on our own. At\
the local authorities were\
completely overwhelmed and\
the first night in New\
Orleans, people came outside\
and they looked up to the\
sky and they just stared at\
it and I'm like "What, are you\
looking for helicopters,\
what?" And they said "We've\
never seen the stars\
before." Because they live\
in the city their entire\
lives and those lights down\
and out. And I realized we\
were completely helpless\
because dealing with short\
term thinkers in the world a\
long term consequences was\
exactly where I was at. I\
was fortunate enough to see\
you folks start  to come\
in. And I started reading more\
and more about what you do.\
See I get a lot of praise\
because I come in with my\
lights and sirens and I'm a\
media beacon and you have to\
come in there when the\
lights are gone and the\
sirens are gone and you come \
in there and you have to\
prepared for what you do.\
I gained a new respect. Cause\
this is my world, folks. I\
trained for what is and you\
have to train for what? What\
ifs. That's a sunami\
about to happen in there.\
(People laughing) You know a\
long time ago our\
forefathers they knew how\
to take care of themselves.\
They were well prepared for\
these kind of issues,\
heartaches, depression and\
even I got to say that even\
during the 1950's we trained\
in a way we prepared. You\
know I realized in New\
Orleans we were okay because\
we have a lot of food and\
water we planned for but\
majority citizens had no\
clue did not prepare and so\
many of your resources have\
to go to people that you\
really shouldn't have. And I\
can say it cold war was a\
hard lesson and we let that\
go to in the first aid for\
that and then back and then\
cold war was pretty much\
this what put a hat. I saw\
this. Put a hat on at his\
will protect you from the\
flash of the heat. Basically\
this is what you should do\
in the event of a nuclear\
attack. And then you saw\
things like the polio\
epidemic though it was one\
of the most natural huge\
disasters that could have be\
folded our country. People\
came forth and then\
incredible inoculation and\
then there was a bird flu\
right? Most of bird flu are\
like fever, chills, and look\
at him edge himself towards\
the windshield. We saw a lot\
of things, inoculations and\
then came H1N1. And again I\
was impressed by the rapid\
immunization that you guys\
put forth. You know there\
was a time when I was a\
medic that we didn't wear\
gloves. We got blood on our\
hands. That was a sign of a\
good call. You walk in the\
ER bloody hands and they\
will say good call. You know\
and It was bad because\
everyone else knew it was\
bad because I've come home\
and no matter what I -- if I\
have my uniform on my wife\
had the Lysol and everywhere\
I sat that's where the\
Lysol was sprayed. We dress\
like this then and now were\
a lot wiser. Facts sometimes\
I play it really safe when I\
treat certain patients. And\
I have a new philosophy now\
of course, that's that no\
gloves no love. (People\
laughing) And then I heard\
about movements that you're\
all doing with the lets move\
campaign. And that is the\
problem. Remember this guy?\
He used to be in television\
shows now he does diabetes\
commercials. You ever seen\
his cat? (People laughing)\
That's sad though that's the\
norm now. That commercial is\
the norm not the exception.\
Even our ambulances now we\
have to prepare for larger\
and larger patients but\
don't feel bad, Canada has it\
lot worse than we do here.\
(People laughing) Creating\
and maintaining that strong\
normal while preparing for\
abnormal. That's what I've\
learned from you. And that's\
what you do in the media.\
Can certainly take any sense\
of achievement away from you\
and no on throws you a parade\
for what you do. This\
picture was taken out of\
Australia during those\
horrible fires and this fire\
fighter hasn't slept for 3\
weeks. He got so tired he\
sat down and he was actually\
just trying to stay awake\
and the news media took that\
picture and they put it in\
the paper and the headlines\
said, "No wonder they can't\
put the fires out." So in\
that right, you're always in\
the spot light 24/7\
someone's right in your ass.\
(People laughing) And it's\
hard to be effective when\
you're tired. I know that if\
I'm on duty at 10 in the\
morning and somebody has a\
cardiac arrest I'm sharp.\
I'm on top of things but\
when I've been awake a long\
time and now I have to do\
CPR in somebody at 3am, well\
it's just ain't quite there\
is it? (People laughing) So\
we treasured. If anything\
I'm here to treasure my\
connection to you that I\
once for so long did not\
understand or truly\
appreciate it. And we\
educate each other. And I\
want to educate you to a new\
siren I'm going to be\
posing in to emergency\
medical services. You any\
start hearing this siren\
instead of the sirens you've\
heard in the past. No more\
googols, no more\
woohhoowoohoo (Creating a\
sound of a siren), we got a\
new siren. I think it is\
time because we have to keep\
up with the times. And I\
want your opinions on it.\
I'm going to introduce it\
next week at our company\
meeting. So tell me what you\
think (New siren sound) (Music)\
(People clapping) Yeah. A\
lot of you wanted to keep\
hearing the song didn't you?\
Yeah, yeah. 'Cause you know\
even before I got in\
emergency medical services I\
had no intention of going\
and becoming a paramedic. I\
was going to be a teacher for\
the hearing impaired. I work in\
Colorado. And it's interesting\
I always feels like I should\
teach sign language to\
people. You know I can't\
speak Spanish, I can't speak\
French, I suck it I'm\
terrible at it but for some\
reason when I was born sign\
language come easy to me.\
That guy I always feel like\
I should teach a sign to you\
so you walk out of here\
because you need it in\
emergency. So everyone take\
your right hand please,\
okay, raise it way up. Now\
make a fist, now open and\
close that fist, sir no\
that's no. Now take that\
fist and this is milk, yeah\
I got that milk, now put it\
across your face and that's\
pasteurize milk. Doesn't get\
any better in this folks,\
that's it. When I was\
teaching though, one of my\
students came around in my\
classroom and started\
pointing to his chest and he\
did this sign which means\
heart attack and he pointed\
down the hall way. I didn't\
know anything about it. I\
had an expired CPR card so\
I walked down that way.\
And a good friend of mine\
and he was laying he was\
kinda lying on the ground\
and try to hold himself up\
short of breath diaphoretic,\
sweating, audible rales,\
rhonchi and his lung sounds\
were terrible, he looks like\
he's going to die and he\
said "I can't breathe." And\
then EMS came in and you\
know I did what I thought I\
could as a citizen and I did\
well you know as long as\
you're full of fluid I know\
I'll lay him flat and raise his\
legs. That should help. Well\
that crew came in. And I\
watched them give morphine,\
Lasix, nitro and he suddenly\
pink up and woke up. That\
was my hook folks. We all\
have our hook. And for me\
that was it. I knew I was\
going to quit teaching and\
now I will become a\
paramedic. (People laughing)\
'Cause you know that's how\
paramedics see themselves. Of\
course this is how EMT see\
paramedic. (People laughing)\
So you know I graduated from\
class and you know I didn't\
have any medical knowledge\
or did I had no experience\
but damn I bought $5,000\
worth of EMS paraphernalia.\
I had stethoscope, trauma\
shear, I had window punchers\
I had everything that you\
needed because you know I\
was like compensating I\
guess. I didn't have a mini\
pen light I had a mag light.\
When I check pupil responses\
I tell you this guy could be\
dead but I shrink his pupils\
at 2 mm every single time. I\
bought it all. Cause I was going\
to be part of a great system\
because I had confidence and\
confidence is what? The\
feeling you have before you\
fully comprehend the\
situation. (People laughing)\
You know experience. What is\
experience? This is another\
name for your mistakes,\
isn't it? I get a lot of\
experience. Like first time\
I delivered a baby. That's\
the placenta you twit. Like\
I've learned you don't\
mask up before you enter\
the patients house,\
carefully how you rip off\
those EKG pads off your\
patients. Always turn the\
patient on their side if you\
think they'll going to\
vomit. For those of you who\
don't know we spinal\
immobilize somebody and\
there's been an accident we\
have to keep the cerebral\
spine completely straight so\
I put him on his back board then\
we tie him down. Well\
sometimes he gets a little\
car sick and so this is the\
thing when I go to an\
emergency room the nurses\
know that paramedics and\
EMTs will never go through\
an emergency room like this.\
Never. We will come to you\
like this. 'Cause we're\
cool. It could be\
shooting or stubbing it\
doesn't matter we're cool.\
But we do, make an\
exception. We will start to\
walk really fast with our\
patients and the nurses know\
what this means. The\
patient is going to pee-pee,\
kaka or vomit. And I do not\
want to clean that up. And\
so the nurses will\
automatically take their\
trash cans and run toward\
the patients because they\
don't want to clean it up.\
But as we go through this\
ER, when the medic door\
opened, and as we're coming\
in I'm hurriedly going\
because this guy is going to\
throw up. And then new\
intern physician, physician\
I never seen stopped me and\
goes "Where're you going?"\
And I'm going (pointing) I'm\
pointing to the guy 'cause\
he's doing (making a sound\
about to vomit) and he's\
going "I want a full report\
before you take one more\
step." And I'm looking at\
the patient and you know\
someone's in that position\
they can't maintain their\
airway, you got to turn\
them. You got to turn the\
whole board over. And I\
looked at my partner and I\
said we got to turn him over\
and I'm on clicking and this\
doctor is getting more\
impatient with us and I\
have a choice. I turned the\
patient to the left to the\
wall or to the right where\
the physician is standing.\
And I look at my partner and\
he goes "Don't do it man."\
"To the right on three.\
1-2-3" Couldn't time it\
better. Whoa! His eyes from\
that physician went wide.\
And I looked at him and I\
said "Airway, airway,\
airway." (People laughing)\
It didn't work. I was\
suspended for 2 days.\
(People laughing) With pay.\
Those bustards. Cause you\
know there was a thing that\
happened and it wasn't about\
3 months later that we go on\
a gentleman who is low on\
sugar, so low on sugar that\
he actually runs to grocery\
store to start taking food\
in because he know he's\
going to get combative\
otherwise. Because his sugar\
drops so low and sure enough\
we get there and he's\
fighting. And I have to\
start an IV and get him an\
amp of D50 on him and I have\
to go for that AC line. And\
my partner starts cutting of\
his down coat and feathers\
start to fly. And as he's\
cutting and the feathers are\
flying, I'm starting to get\
an IV and I get an AC and he\
pulls it out. Blood starts\
to spurt a little bit and\
then he pulls it out. What\
does blood do to feathers?\
And now we got feathers and\
blood sticking on us and the\
patient. We finally get to\
the emergency room and we're\
exhausted we're beat up we\
finally get that IV and then\
we get that sugar in just\
as we are rounding the corner\
that ER. The gentleman\
becomes alert and oriented\
to where he was and what\
happens to him he simply\
says and he looks at that\
doc and you know what that\
doc was? The doc I told you\
about earlier. And he looks\
at that doc and goes "I'm a\
chicken." (People laughing)\
And I just look at the\
doctor and he goes "Go\
ahead." (People laughing)\
And that's experience. Isn't\
it? New born are slippery\
for one thing right? Never\
leave your stethoscope on\
the hot dash of your\
ambulance. And if this lady\
is hard of hearing, do not\
tell her she had acute\
angina. (People laughing)\
One guy over here doesn't\
get it. That's all right. So\
here I am at my peak you\
know I'm all excited about\
what I'm doing. And they\
give me a partner. Because\
now I'm out of paramedic school\
and they gave me a partner\
who's burned out. His\
philosophy was you call we\
haul that's all. That was\
great because he didn't want\
to do anything and I wanted to\
do everything. In our first\
shift together we get a\
cardiac arrest to a\
mortuary. Now I think about\
that. My partner he's\
driving around there. That's\
just damn funny I don't care\
who you are. Not me. I'm\
thinking about all these\
ACLS processes I got to do I\
don't even let him put and\
park. And I jumped out of\
that ambulance and running.\
Sure enough there's that\
mortician lying supine\
between two bodies he's\
preparing for burial. I\
quick look at him with my\
paddles and of course defib\
and I said we got a chance \
with this guy\
boom! Clear. And the\
sunny guy goes (breathing)\
Wow! One shock and we get\
pulses back and I'm so\
excited I look for my\
partner from the praise.\
He's nowhere to be found. We\
actually get those patient\
package and ready to go\
still my partner can't be\
found. And I go to another\
room and there he is in this\
mortuary. There are several\
coffins and there are bodies\
in these coffins and he is\
going coffin to coffin\
checking pulses. (People\
laughing) And I'm going\
"What are you doing?" He\
goes "Triage". He goes\
"Here's another one call\
another unit." And I'm\
looking at him going "Oh my\
god. Is this what happens to\
you when you do this long\
enough?" Is this the kind of\
humor that we are reduced\
to? You know I didn't care.\
I was on such in cloud.\
I mean I wanted to work 24\
hour shift 72 hour shift it\
didn't matter because I was\
afraid I was going to see the\
last shooting there ever was.\
And so I was like this\
exhaustion was my favourite\
hallucinogen. It was really\
a ride because you know what\
happens of the adrenals on\
top of your kidney? You do\
any kind of uncertain jobs\
we do out here, I tell you\
and this is what happens to\
your adrenals. You get hook\
to that epi rush. You know\
what 'm talking about don't\
you? And what is EP4? It was\
always there for us for\
fight or flight to tell us\
we run away and takes blood\
away from our fine muscles\
and to our greater muscles\
so we can run. It takes\
blood away from our skin so\
what if we get cut we don't\
bleed as bad we dilate so\
that we can see the\
periphery. But epi is\
bad for us. Cause I don't\
need to run away so much as\
I need to what? Get blood\
circulation to my fingertips\
so I can do fine minute\
skills that may be\
necessary. I don't need to\
be shaken my hands and I\
need good vision and good\
focus so that I can perform\
certain skills. Epi is\
bad for you not to mention\
what it does to our blood\
pressure. How long does it\
take you to come down from\
epi rush? At least 3 hours.\
So your pressure high and we\
get a lot of epi rush and we\
try to stop the epi, don't\
we? Because in a heat of\
battle you will not rise the\
cage you will rise the level\
you are trained at and so we\
practice and practice and\
practice and practice over\
and over and over again for\
scenario that may never\
happen because we got to get\
rid of the epi. So that when\
it happens we don't have an\
epi rush. That's something\
happen to me too with time.\
What happened to all my\
stuff after about 5 years?\
Now I didn't need it because\
I have the experience. I can\
walk in the room and look at\
a patient and say sick or\
not sick? Without saying one\
thing I knew, how well our\
patient was doing. And who\
carry the new stuff? The\
rookie. It was a circle of\
life wasn't it? The circle of\
stuff but something happen I\
kinda went from this\
attitude starting my shift\
to this, is he gone yet.\
(People laughing) Cause I\
didn't work on commission.\
Hell! You know give me a\
good shift or the slow shift\
and sometimes I even gotten\
back to my ambulance and\
checking out all the stuff\
at the back I kinda have\
this attitude of Lord get me\
through one more day. Cause\
I have developed that you\
call we haul, that's all. I\
was fried. Fried after 5\
years. And I decided we know\
EMS and Emergency medical\
services and just pre\
hospital care or any\
emergency services is all\
about investing in a\
relationship and so what do\
you do with relationship?\
If you are having troubles you\
put more work into it and so I\
got more certifications. I put\
in more hours because I\
thought eventually EMS will\
love me back. Emergency\
medicine never loves you\
back. It eats you up it\
will spits you out and they\
won't think another thing of\
that -  I have what's called\
terminal professional burnout.\
It burns out people just about\
the time when their experiences\
might leave them with real value\
at least I'm walking around\
in resentment. You are so\
beat they are ineffective. Does\
anyone know\
anybody like that? That was\
me. It's funny how life\
gives you a teacher when you\
least expect it. It was\
lunch time I was tired, I\
wanted to eat. Our transfer\
car was busy. They said\
"Medic 4 you will go down\
pick this patient from her\
house and take her to a\
doctor's appointment." I was\
furious. You're calling me\
out of lunch? For a\
transfer? I'm a 911\
ambulance. "Just do it\
Berry." So I pull up and\
there was this lady. Her\
name is Wava. I want to\
look at her smile. She lives\
on the second floor she\
weight 350 pounds I had to\
put her on a scoop stretcher\
to get her down, we had no\
fire fighters to assist\
getting down. I tweek my\
back now I have back pain.\
I'm hungry I'm angry and who\
am I going to take it out\
on? Not my partner. I worked\
with him for 24 hours, not\
dispatcher because pissed\
off they've going to give\
you another transfer. She\
was the only one left. And\
so I did what I thought I\
should do I ignored her. I\
clicked her into my\
ambulance. I pulled out my\
paper works so I can get all\
my billing forms done so\
that one's she arrives I can\
go right back to lunch and\
as I'm doing my paper form\
suddenly she grabs my clip\
board and pulled it down and\
looks at me gives me that\
smile. She said "What's up\
Steve? What's up?" I said\
nothing. "How are you?" "I'm\
great." I look at her chart,\
terminal cancer. And I'm\
looking to see how can she\
say that she must be in good\
meds so I look at her med\
sheet, there was no meds.\
She was on no pain meds. So \
as we drive along, I'm\
trying to get my paper work\
done trying to ignore her\
and she pulls my clip board\
down again and said "Steve\
what sign are you?" I said\
"I'm Pisces." She said "I'm\
cancer." Oh! (People\
laughing) She jokes all the\
-- she was trying to get me to\
smile and she keep move\
along she said "Steve if I\
end up in ICU don't let them\
turn off the machine so I'm\
down to a lot of size 7." Or\
she say "You know when die I\
want to be cremated. I'm\
going to have my ashes put\
in an etcha sketch." Things\
like that. Not great jokes.\
But I got to tell you in\
route suddenly my clip board\
down and start to ask her.\
"Are you doing all right?"\
And I fluff her pillow a\
little bit. "Actually I'm\
feeling good." And I'm\
actually disappointed that\
the transfer is over. And so\
as I take her out I said\
"Good luck to you." When I\
get back to my ambulance,\
suddenly I turn from kinda\
feeling good to suddenly now\
I'm mad and pissed off. So I\
asked dispatch "When is her\
appointment done? I want to\
pick her up and take her\
back." "Oh you're\
volunteering for a\
transfer?" "Absolutely." So\
I don't even wait. I go in\
there after she's done. She\
looks at me and say "Oh\
you're back." I click her in\
and as I click her I go\
"Wava how can you be so\
happy, you're terminal?" And\
that smile you see on that\
screen kinda faded a little\
bit not much. But she said,\
"We're all terminal. Some\
quicker than others versus\
it's a fatal disease." I\
said "Did you read that in a\
Hallmark card?" I said\
"Common, please." And she\
said "Look I curse cancer\
every day. But there is the\
freedom I've been given. I \
don't care if my lipstick's on \
straight. I don't care\
if my colostomy bag doesn't\
match my shoes. I don't have\
time for people like you."\
And I said "Excuse me?" She\
said "People like me don't\
have time to waste with\
people like you." And I said\
"Why are you saying that?"\
She says "I started reading\
my resume." And she said\
something, She said "This is\
what you are, you may be\
carrying a lot of patients but\
you're a flat tire. And we need\
compassion. In our years of\
medicine people don't care\
how much you know until they\
know how much you care." And\
I don't know where she got\
that but I couldn't let that\
go. She was right. People\
don't care how much you\
know. Until they know how\
much you care. And one thing\
I missed in my life is I\
used to laugh a lot and Wava\
laughed a lot. You know\
then I suddenly I wanted to\
become Wava's man, I wanted\
her to become my mentor\
because I knew she will\
always tell me the truth. So\
we became friends and every\
time I was on and she was\
going somewhere, I was the\
medic who's going to take\
her there. Because this is\
what humor is. You know when\
I thought I was in trouble I\
decided maybe I needed some\
help. And instead of  seeing\
some help. I decided I'm going to\
go get a self-help book. So\
I went to the store and I\
said "Where are the\
self-help books?" And the\
person said I could tell you\
but that will be cheating.\
(People laughing) You know\
they live for that every day\
right? So I got to find\
where it is and there is the\
book and I opened it and\
look at the word humor and\
humor is not about telling\
jokes most of us are lousy\
joke tellers. We can't\
remember the jokes. Most\
jokes are domain. Its\
attitude. In fact it' all\
about being flexible. Being\
fluid like, being flexible.\
And those are just words I\
know that. And how will it\
work as a tool? Well you\
know as I started regaining\
some of that humor I\
realized I regain\
perspective. One time we're\
getting a call from a\
location and I'm looking at\
my map book, I can't find it\
and my partner is driving\
and she's saying "Where are\
we going?" And I said "I\
can't find it." And she go\
"Ask dispatch." "I'll find\
it." "Where are we going?"\
"I'll find it." And so now\
we're like this right? We're\
not listening to each other\
now I'm just yelling back\
and forth. And finally she\
says "Why does it take a\
million sperm to fertilize\
one egg?" I said "What?"\
"Why does it take a million\
sperm to fertilize one egg?"\
And I said "I don't know."\
And she said "Because the\
sperm won't ask for\
directions." (People\
laughing and clapping ) And\
I just looked at her and\
went "Dispatch where are we\
going?" (People laughing)\
Provides grace under fire.\
We're all under fire a lot\
aren't we? I had a patient that\
was so drunk but you know\
when you're drunk you become\
suddenly strong and you have\
powers you never thought you\
had. He was going to kick\
out butts and so here is my\
partner we're trying to\
restrain him somewhat but\
he's so drunk fortunately\
that he can't even hit air\
so he was like trying to get\
to us. Finally, a police\
officer shows up and we're\
like hmmmmm... and I'm looking\
at the cop going come on. He\
doesn't move. He just stares\
at him. And he slowly walks\
up towards him and the\
patient sees the officer and\
he goes "You're mother is a\
whore." And I'm going great\
and now we get the word\
trauma. (People laughing)\
Cop doesn't move. "Your\
mother is a whore." He goes\
"Yeah. I've been meening to\
talk to mom about that." And\
the guy goes "You, what?" I\
cannot tell you. How that\
man suddenly was defeated.\
The point of anyone getting\
in your face is to make you\
angry and he only put a joke\
right back on him so we\
easily escorted that\
gentleman without any\
further problem just sudden\
embarrassing moments. One\
time I'm taking this\
gentleman actually it was \
Wava to doctor's appointment\
and there was also all these\
people in line. There were\
some in walkers. I don't\
know what procedure they are\
waiting for but one of the\
aids yells to one of the\
patients, "Mike your fly is\
open." Very inappropriate.\
But Mike just look down and\
look up the aid and said\
"Honey what can't get up it\
can't get out." And I wrote\
that down. (People laughing)\
Bonds, co-workers and\
patients. That's what Wava\
knew right? If I make\
those who care for me happy\
I will get better patient\
care. Remember that people\
'cause someday you're all\
going to end up in the\
hospital. And you make those\
who care for you happy\
they're going to give you\
better care. And I watched\
Wava work her magic. At\
one time I'm taking her and\
she's getting an x-ray and\
the docs screaming and are\
very busy they can't talk to\
her so she's just sitting there.\
Finally she grabs one of\
these docs and she goes "Doc\
we got to stop taking all\
these x-rays." He goes "Why\
is that?" "I heard he got\
cancer from these things."\
He goes "That's not\
possible." That's a joke\
isn't it? Again, bad joke.\
The funny thing is she\
pulled up a chair sat next\
to her and engaged and Wava just\
look over me and\
winked. You break the\
routine and that's why we\
use humor. In the profession\
we do it breaks the routine.\
Tends to relax and relieve\
the pressure. 16-year old\
involved in a traffic\
accident he is okay but\
since he was young we have\
to wait for his father to\
show up on scene. So\
basically its rush hour\
intersection traffic is\
going from miles backed up.\
We're just waiting for dad\
and the son says to me he\
goes "When my dad gets here\
it's going to get weird."\
I'm thinking his dad is\
going to be mad. "No, no\
it's going to get weird."\
And before he can explain\
sure enough this car pulls\
up and dad gets out of the\
car. Nice three piece suit\
he goes up to his son and\
goes "Are you all right?"\
And he goes "Yes I am dad."\
And he gives him a big hug\
and I'm like "So what's the\
problem?" And suddenly he\
grabs me on the shoulder and\
said "Gather your people. We\
must pray." And the son looked\
at me and he goes\
"Uh-hmm.."(People laughing)\
and so we circled around the\
car, the car that was hit,\
holding hands fire, ems,\
police, kumbaya. And he\
starts "Satan has hit us\
today." My partner said "No\
sir I think it was Saturn."\
(People laughing) Consoles\
us for what you are. Draws\
attention away from our\
upsets. Like I said we can\
laugh at what hurts us. A\
friend of mine he had to go\
to hospital and they have to\
put a Foley catheter in, he had\
some serious kidney issues. He\
hated that Foley catheter.\
He will just stare at it in\
anger and I got tired of\
this pity party. And so I\
went to visit the next\
morning I said "Let's go\
walk down the hall way." As\
we're walking he kinda\
sloughing along holding his\
Foley. And we go by a nurse\
station and then I see there\
was these flowers, plastic\
flowers and I pull one of\
them off and I put it on his\
hospital gown and he said\
"What are you doing that\
for?" And I said "I want you\
to go up on the next nurse\
you see, hold your Foley\
like you're going to squeeze\
it and I ask her to smell\
your flower and then put\
your chest..." (People\
laughing). He said "I'm not\
doing that." And I said "Yes\
you are." And it was bad\
acting job. He just went to\
a nurse and said "Smell my\
flower." And she looked at\
that flower thinking urine\
was going to come pouring out of\
that thing. And she tripped and\
she fell backwards and his\
eyes widening look at her\
and he look at his Foley and\
he said "Let's go to ICU\
man." We laugh at what hurts\
us. And that is why some\
people don't understand our\
humor. Because we have to be\
in the heat of it don't we?\
And then it also allows us\
to be creative. It's hard to\
be creative. When you're not\
circulating the right hemisphere\
of  your brain is under\
stress. Epi shuts off to\
creative side. When someone\
pawns a joke off to you? If\
you know sometimes more\
better ideas come out and\
the key of course for us\
folks not just to laugh but\
to laugh at ourselves.\
Because we are not perfect.\
And it's even better if you\
can work with a partner who\
also helps you laugh at\
yourself. So why don't we?\
We know it's good for us I\
think it starts when we were\
young. You know let's face\
it. I was a teacher. How\
many of you have kids? The\
kids you still claim? I used\
to go up with your children\
where they're little. Cause\
when you know your kids are\
born you want then to talk\
and so you just gogo gaga\
them to death. You want them\
to walk so desperately and\
so you put them up and fall\
you put them up and fall ,\
they master it and then what\
will you tell them "Sit down\
and shut up." And they come\
to my class room and I'm\
hearding cats and I'm saying\
sit down everyone keep cool\
but another thing sometimes\
I catch myself saying to\
your children was "Wipe that\
smile off your face. What's\
so funny? Act your age." As\
if you associate the idea of\
humor, laughter, somehow\
the act of children. Not to\
be treasured by the rest of\
us. You have teachers like\
that haven't you? But I'll\
guarantee you your best\
teacher you ever have in\
your life if you don't have\
the words in there somewhere\
it made me laugh I will be\
really surprised about that.\
'Cause this comes down to\
why kids do what they do.\
Remember I said about the\
deafness and humor? To be\
fluid, to be flexible, this\
is why children don't sit\
still. This is why they\
laugh so much because they\
look at the world from every\
angle and look for the\
comic angle. When we get\
older our vision starts to\
do this doesn't it? And\
eventually we start\
labelling things. Telling\
this is the way the world\
works and they are curious.\
You got to be curious with\
humor. It's part of the\
ride. And I want you to look\
at this EKG not to as the\
normal EKG EKG but as your\
emotional EKG. Everything\
above that iso- electric\
line is a positive emotion\
happiness joy everything\
below that line is pain,\
anger, sorrow and this is\
life. Joy some sadness some\
joy some sadness and what do\
you think kids emotional EKG\
will look like? If they had a\
rhythm would you draw\
something like this because\
that's what kids do. They\
feel, they feel they don't\
just kinda hum it off a\
little bit. My daughter when\
she's little had a gerbil\
name Gib-gib and you've all\
bought gerbils for your\
children. And how long do\
you hope they live? A week.\
'Cause you know that's when\
they're going to stop taking\
care of your little gerbil.\
And your going to hear that\
squeaky wheel night after\
night. Well gib-gib lives\
not 1 year not 2 years 3\
freaking years. And then one\
night it was gerbil's time.\
And I stayed up all night\
with my daughter for a\
vigil and knowing that Gib-gib's\
days hours, minutes were\
soon to be. Well he didn't\
die of course so I had to go\
to work the next day and it\
was a quiet Sunday. I show\
up in my ambulance and \
wouldn't you  know I get a call\
from and my daughter and\
what did she do (fake\
crying) "Gib-gib is dead. Come\
home daddy." Now I look at my\
supervisor and he goes "Well it\
is Gib-gib, afterall." (People\
laughing)\
"I'll give you a few\
hours\
it's a slow Sunday go on\
by." So I told my daughter\
and I said "Now I want you\
to gather all of Gib-gibs\
favourite toys over the\
years, write a eulogy, get\
some flowers and then i'll\
come home and we'll have a\
ceremony." And why is that\
so important for me for my\
daughter? Because pets\
prepare us for losses in\
life. And I want her to be\
able to grieve "Hell! Yes\
this is just a stupid\
gerbil" but the message is\
so much more important to\
me. So we're going to do\
this right? And so we pull\
up to the house and there\
was this huge box and I\
forgot after 3 years of crop\
of Gib-gib there's a lot of\
toys. And so I have to get\
some shovels. My partner got\
a shovel and you know this\
is bad when you're digging a\
grave next to an ambulance\
and people are driving by.\
(People laughing) And so my\
daughter gives this eulogy.\
I'm actually being\
touched by this. I can\
actually feel the tears well\
up to my lips starts to\
tremble over this gerbil.\
And she starts crying even\
harder and finally I\
turned "Dear, let it go."\
And between the sniffles and\
the chocking in little words\
she said "Dad how can i let\
it go if I don't feel it\
first?" Wow! Those words\
stuck with me hard because\
you know this was my EKG as\
a paramedic. Those little\
P-wave bumps, those were the\
calls. Shooting, stabbing,\
car accident, heart attack.\
And I wouldn't let any of\
those emotions interfere\
because I was not getting\
involved. Oh yeah sometimes\
I get a spike because I had\
a SIDS death I would allow\
that but most of the time it\
was just flat line. That's\
kind the way I was raised.\
This is not like my parents\
were against boys feeling\
things but I think men have\
a harder time with those\
issues. The only time I saw\
my dad cry was this show.\
You know what it is? Brian\
Song long time ago but boy\
when this football player\
was dying of cancer on the\
television I turn to my\
father then I see this tear\
my coming from my father s\
cheek. First time I ever saw\
him cry I see you know why I\
remember that? Because\
that's the first time I saw\
my father feel that. I said\
"Dad are you crying?" He\
goes "No." And he gets up\
and walks away and I said\
"Where are you going?" And\
he said "I'm going to go\
mown the lawn." And I said\
"Dad there's snow on the\
ground." He goes "Shut\
up."(People laughing.) This\
is what we do folks. A lot\
of us if I'm not going to\
feel the pain then I can't\
feel the joy. You can have\
one emotion without\
indirectly affecting the\
other and so when you decide\
you'll going to shut one\
down you'll going to shut\
the other down and so\
sometimes folks will last\
when you go in your disaster\
have you ever felt numb? You\
felt nothing. You felt\
neither joy nor sadness.\
Feeling these feelings and\
when you cut yourself off\
from feeling bad by\
supressing and ignoring your\
pain you may also cut\
yourself off and feeling\
good. Sometimes I would\
spare my family those calls.\
I would just sit and stare\
at the TV and sometimes I\
didn't even turn it on but\
just stare at it. And I had\
built a wall. It was called\
energy rationing. But there\
was a time after I start\
doing this laughing thing\
coming back to it\
rediscovering that curiosity\
and that flexibility. We'r\
dispatched to a traffic\
accident  south of Colorado\
Springs way out of our\
district. Black ice\
conditions. We can only\
drive 20 miles/hour hot to\
this call. Volunteers on\
scene screaming where are\
the paramedic? We knew it\
was bad. Fight for life\
couldn't fly because of foggy\
conditions. It seemed like\
it's eternity before we get\
there and as we pull up\
there's a lot of cars rolled\
over but fire fighters are\
directing us to just one\
patient. And it was a pickup\
truck rolled off of the\
side. And I can see the fire\
fighter log rolling him onto\
a back board but I couldn't\
help but notice this\
gentleman's thorax. As I log\
rolled him, it was like\
jello. He crushed every bone\
in his chest. So no\
structure. This is obviously\
a mortal wound and I decided\
it's pretty much I would just \
check for pulse and\
move on. But as I check this\
gentleman carotid pulse, his\
eyes opened and he looked at\
me and he said "I can't\
breathe." Now I'm like "No\
shit!"(People laughing) I\
couldn't believe it. Not\
only was he alive, he was\
awake and oriented. So we\
scoop him up and going "Oh\
my God. We can only drive 20\
miles an hour back to the\
hospital with this man." And\
I was praying for him to go\
unconscious because I knew\
he was in pain and I knew he\
will not survive this. Let\
it in now. But it didn't.\
We're in the back and\
preparing to vent his chest\
to get that air out. I want\
to intubate him and put tube\
but before I can put that\
blade into him he goes\
"Don't let me die. Today is\
my birthday. I'm going home\
to my children." And I was\
thinking shut up! Shut up!\
You are not a human being.\
You are a thoracic trauma.\
Do not destract me from my\
job. He shortly thereafter\
seized  on my intubation and\
died.  And a volunteer looked at\
me and he said, "What are we\
going to do now?" And before I\
could even answer the\
question I know this man's\
bloody chest is now mixed\
with my tears. I've never\
done that before. And I get\
on the radio and say "Trauma\
team cancelled, DOA, be\
there in 10." So on the way\
back it was very\
uncomfortable for me. I'm\
trying to get why am I\
leaking? When we pull up to\
the ER and as we back in\
suddenly the back bay door\
opened there are 4 nurses, a\
doctor, pastoral care, 2\
supervisors. I'm going "Why\
are you here? I cancelled\
you." DOA. And this is what\
I remember. "We're not here\
for him. We're here for\
you." And they gave me no\
words. So it was an Oprah\
Winfrey. They had what I\
call the kind presence. And\
we're going to need that\
people. That was the gift I\
learned that I can laugh, I\
can cry but I can also know\
that I have my peers that\
are there for me. I hope you\
know that too. Because\
you're gonna see some\
things. You're going to see\
people that do not survive\
certain situations. And just\
as you are trying to save so\
many, please remember you\
need to save yourself.\
'Cause that's part of the ride\
is death. Friends help boost\
the immune system unless of\
course you're sharing\
needles with him. (People\
laugh) Did I just ruin a warm\
moment there? (People\
laughing) I'm not saying\
give each other group hug\
every time you miss an IV.\
That's not my point. But you\
know what? I never had a\
nightmare about that show.\
The reason that whole thing\
happened I'm not sure but I\
remember those tears and you\
know what? The words of my\
daughter came back to me\
that day that said "Dad how\
can I let it go if I don't\
feel it first?" I felt it.\
And I was allowed the\
freedom to move on. This is\
life isn't it? Tragedy, joy,\
but you guys are only going\
to be dispatched to the mask\
of tragedy. And that's going\
to throw your balance off\
and then to keep that\
balance you have to add joy\
in. You have to recover your\
soul. It's part of the ride.\
Don't be afraid to feel it.\
And we are the worst\
patients you will ever run\
on. You would be the worst\
person I would ever have to\
run on. I was involved in an\
accident on a way to work\
one guy  running to at 40\
miles an hour broke my\
chair, I went forward fell\
back. Lieutenant is looking\
into my car and he looks at\
me goes it's just  Berry. And he\
starts to grab my neck and I\
said "Let go. I cleared my\
C-spine I'm neurologically\
intact distally I have good\
and strong equal bilateral\
grip strength." And he is\
like "Berry let me do my\
job." We don't take care of\
ourselves do we? We have\
seen enemy and enemy is us.\
You feel sad because every\
person's losses are also\
your losses, normal,\
necessary, good sign if you\
care and a proof that you're\
emotionally alive. I use to\
think when I drew this after\
the Columbine shooting\
that's the worst thing I\
ever see. I was way wrong,\
wasn't I?  so much more\
tragedy - So much of a tragic\
and it was interesting even in\
Virginia tech, I though it\
can't get any worst.\
Muhammed Attah said time for\
laughter is when America is\
over during 9/11. And being\
a cartoonist I look at some\
of the cartoon illustrations\
that were out there that\
came shortly thereafter. Day\
1 after 9/11 that cartoon\
did show what? Sorrow, grief\
pain. A week later he showed\
anger. And I saw this\
cartoon, holy war. Holy\
crap! (People laughing) You\
know what? That's when I\
knew we were going to\
survive. Because we are so\
strong as a people that we\
not only can laugh at\
ourselves we can laugh at\
the pain that comes upon us.\
You said Aflac not anthrax.\
(People laughing) It truly\
healthy isn't it? When you can\
laugh at your enemies and\
then take that same paranoia\
on yourself and still laugh\
at yourself. And this did\
happen. We're happy about\
it. (People clapping) But\
also be aware. There are\
people some of you out there\
maybe too that. Maybe\
there's initial euphoria\
there's people out there are\
in a lot of pain. Brought\
back a lot of pain. And so\
please have that kind\
presence for them. It's not\
just a joyous reaction for\
that it's also a recovery\
for them. They still feel\
that you know this is one of\
the best pictures I saw\
right after 9/11. Kids\
playing right as the smoke\
and ashes were still going\
in the back. Because kids\
tells us and reminds us of\
what? It will get better and\
play is nothing more than\
humor and action. As we wrap\
up here I was taken this one\
boy. He has to go to\
dialysis every week and I\
was in the back with him and\
his mother was sitting up\
front and as we're going to\
dialysis he is looking ouf\
the window and he is pretty\
excited and he is looking out\
the window and he's going\
"There's one, there's\
another one, there's another\
one." He is getting more\
excited and I'm going, "What\
are you looking at?" And he\
said "I'm looking for\
unhelmeted motorcycle\
riders." (People laughing)\
And I said "What are you\
talking about?" He goes "I\
need two new kidneys damn\
it!" And his mom turned\
around and she said I\
started to laugh my partner\
laughing and then mom turns\
around goes "That's not\
funny."(People laughing) So\
we're kinda going\
"Urhhurrr." But that great\
the kid goes "Mom shut up!\
It's bad enough that I have\
to carry this disease I got\
to carry your pain too. I\
like hospital people."\
That's what we call -- yo I\
like hospital people. 'Cause\
you know what I understand\
that I am more than my\
disease. That humor can\
drive out fear. A lot of\
hospital patient isn't dead\
until they actually die. To\
have a sense of humor you\
have to understand human\
suffering and misery. Folks\
we have that and you know we\
have a terrible fire called\
the Hain fire at Colorado 7\
years ago burning thousands\
of thousands of acres. Our\
house was on us. Evacuation\
stands by for several weeks\
and our governor got on CNN\
and said "The whole state of\
Colorado was on fire. What\
does that do to our tourist\
indusry?" (People laughing)\
That only back tract he said\
"I need an artist. Local\
artist look around and come\
out with some illustrations\
to entice people come back\
to our great state." And so\
I drew this I though this\
will be good after seeing\
this kind of devastation.\
(People laughing) And then\
again I went and let's have\
this one. I showed this to my\
neighbours. I thought they'd\
laugh because we've been\
through this. Did they\
laugh? No. That's when also\
realized we and what we do\
we laugh quicker than\
everyone else. Cause it's\
not like it's over now. Now\
we can let the healing heal.\
We have to get ready for the\
next disaster and so we\
laugh on credit. We laugh\
sooner than everybody else.\
And people always say "How\
can you joke at a time like\
this?" And you should say\
"Because this happens."\
(People laughing and\
clapping) You know that fire\
fighter he is supposed to be\
where a relation to this\
man coming don't eh ladder\
right around. That fire\
fighter is going I don't\
think so. Everyone else is\
extraordinary. Is or are\
ordinary. And anybody ever\
laughed at a funeral? You\
don't? You know we have a\
fire fighter who was killed\
and I didn't know him\
personally but it is a\
matter of unity we all came.\
During the eulogy which was\
so sober it was close casket\
but during the eulogy I\
noticed the casket starts to\
open oh so slightly by\
itself and I'm looking\
around to see if anybody\
else ever noticing this but\
everyone is just looking\
straight ahead. And it cricks\
open again.(Creaking sound.) I\
can't believe this. My\
partner leans over and\
whispers to my ear "Looks\
like that high dose epi\
finally kick in." (People\
laughing) I couldn't believe\
she said that. And so\
suddenly I feel this\
laughter start to build\
inside and I can't let this\
out. And that's the worse\
isn't it? We want to laugh\
and you can't. And so\
seriously I bitten my lip\
and I have my head down. And\
I think I got it together\
and suddenly I feel the\
shoulder of my partner next\
to me. Shaking and I shake\
back and it's going back and\
forth and now it's building\
to a crescendo and I got to\
let it out. It's going to\
come out and it could come out\
this way or that way. (People\
laughing) And so I thought\
laughing sounds a lot like\
crying. Crying sounds a lot\
like laughing. So I put my\
face and my hands and I was\
like (sound of Laughing)\
(People laughing) And my\
partner followed suit.\
That's only the pew behind\
us everyone stood up and put\
their arms around us went\
"Oh." (People laughing). And\
that was it. I was out of\
there. I regain myself when\
I came back but it.. Humor\
sometimes in tragedy allows\
you to breathe. And\
sometimes that's all it is\
people. Cause remember I\
said you extenuate one\
motion is going to excite\
the other. So if I have\
despair you may find\
yourself laughing very hard.\
Cause it extenuates\
everything. Life just not\
seems to be funny when\
people die. Just that it\
does not seems to be serious\
when people laugh. So you\
guys are first responders.\
But you also have last\
responders. Death is part of\
the game. And unfortunately\
we have to see and the show\
mask training to focus your\
mind on the funny cannot --\
fatal can help you heal even\
the most open wounds. I came\
back from a boy who was\
killed on a bicycle. And he\
looked a lot like my son.\
And I don't remember driving\
home that day. I only\
remember that suddenly\
opening a latch because that\
-- the memories were so\
engrain in me. And as I open\
the door there is my box, my\
son standing there with that\
same baseball hat in fact\
almost he is looking at me\
very nervous he say "Dad I\
know you told me not to play\
baseball around the house\
but I broke a window." I\
confuse the hell out of my son.\
(People laughing) At that\
moment I was just glad I had\
a son who could break a\
window. And sometimes I\
think that's the beauty of\
our profession. Things\
happen to other people that\
can just remind us how\
precious thing are because I\
know I must have stared at him.\
For good two minutes. Just\
thankful for that moment\
when we lose one we love\
our bitter tears are called\
forth by the memory of ours\
and we love not enough.\
Seriously I'm going to end\
all of this 'cause this is\
not so long ago. The teacher\
called my wife and I in\
about my daughter. Is that\
usually a good thing? And\
I'm really nervous at first\
I said "What's wrong?" and\
he said he keeps hemmin & hawing\
I said "What went on? What's\
going on?" And he said "Well\
I was lecturing the other\
day and your daughter and\
her friend was in the back\
of the room not paying\
attention to what I was\
saying and they gathered\
around this window sill and\
they were looking at this\
fly and they were laughing\
hysterically." And I said\
"Okay, where is this going?"\
He said "Your daughter took\
4 pens put those around the\
fly, put some yellow ribbon\
and put it around there.\
(People laughing) And wrote\
a little sign and said crime\
scene do not enter." (People\
laughing) And I bray\
laughter I thought that as\
the best thing in the world.\
And he said "You don't\
understand Mr. Berry, your\
daughter laughs too much."\
And I realized that's still\
out there and I said in this\
cartoon of a SWAT team I\
thought that would be\
appropriate. You know I also\
realized how much our kids\
listen to us right? Cause\
you know my son when he was\
younger he also didn't like\
to change his clothes\
including his underwear and\
mom would say you know "You\
need to change your\
underwear every day because\
you never know someday you're\
going to be in an accident."\
He was just looking at me\
and he says "According to\
dad it won't make any\
difference 'cause I'm going\
to crap my pants anyway."\
(People laughing) it really\
starts young too. You have\
those monitors where they\
listen and you know "Yo dad,\
got to my ass on my way. We\
had a code brown in progress\
do you copy?"(People\
laughing) It wasn't long\
after that I go over with my\
daughter had her homework\
and assignment. This is what\
she turned in. (People\
laughing and clapping)\
Wouldn't you give her an A?\
I guess again as we end\
here, I know our humors\
little twisted. We see the\
world a little differently\
than everybody else does.\
But like I said I do want us\
to have good models. For me\
and my children I don't\
really care what they grow\
up to be but isn't it funny?\
We are all in the same ride.\
We are all in the same ride\
we''re seeing the same thing\
but how person can see it\
this way. One person can see\
it the other way. Same\
experience just all\
interpretation, isn't it? So\
I don't care what my kids\
grow up to be. I just ask\
them to pay attention to the\
lighter side to laugh off\
and much to win the\
respective and tells people\
and its effects in the\
children. To leave the world\
a better place to know even\
one life breathe easy\
because you have lived, this\
is to have succeeded, \
Wava lived 3 more years longer\
than they ever predicted. The\
Wava lived every day\
until the day she died. She\
would want me to share this\
with you. Never give a smurf\
too much oxygen. (People\
laughing and clapping)\
Thank you very much. Thank you.\
(Music.)\
}